So many people are doing everything that they can to make me feel better, make me feel special.
I am so grateful for everyone. I just feel like I am disappointing them. For how much everyone is giving to me all I can feel is the that glaring absence. The lack of touch my body is so accustomed to. The words, the close breath, the feeling of love. It all feels like a lie now, but I still miss him.
I still miss the life that I thought I had.
I am so proud of my Logan.
He is so strong and understanding. I can not believe how grown up he has become. I wish he didn't have to be so grown up. he is so caring and insightful. He sees the world in such a beautiful way. He is so angry. He is trying so hard not to be but he has become surly and curt. He takes it out on my mom and I. He is so loving and caring. I am just so beyond proud of who he is turning out to be.
He keeps saying its going to be ok.
I think he is saying it to make it real for himself and me.
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