circling the wagons

We all woke up in the reality of our new family.  I am determined to hold onto the joy of our life even in this raw, broken state.

We car dance! Yes we act like fools and dance and sing and laugh and embrace the moment.  We remember to have a good time.  We were dancing to the black keys and I was not paying attentions to lyrics when I hear Ava from the back, "Mommy! They said that their daddy left them! Thats just like us."

We arrived at the school...it's a short ride.

The kids walk into school and Logan wants us to walk him back to his class, till he sees his friends.  I watched him walk way praying that he would be ok.  Ava needed to be walked in, needed someone to do work with her.  I gave her my "I love you! I love you more!" necklace.

I had called their teachers. I had called my close friends. I had called supportive family. I circled the wagons tightly around them.  I did everything I could to make it as safe for them.  I am worried. I want to protect them.  I wish I could of protected them from this ever happening.  I just have to show them now that we are going to be ok.

We all announced today.  We all told what we needed. Ava whispered it in Emma's little ear.  Logan shared at morning circle. He stated it as if he was telling his class he saw a movie.  He announced his plans for how it will be ok.  I posted my blog to my community. We all took our first big step forward.

I am pragmatic. I solve problems. I move forward. I do not accept support easily.

I was not prepared to have the wagons circled by me.  I am shocked by the love and support everyone has showered on me.  It has made the emptiness so full.

Thank you.