my kids...

The phrase my kids never hurt so much or brought so much pride.
I am alone in all of this except for my kids.
They are amazing people that I am proud to simply know.

When I was pregnant with my first born son I would sit around and think about what kind of mother I wanted to be. More importantly I would sit around and think about the core truths I wanted for my son. This was hard I toiled over what I wanted for them.  It all just felt so trite.

Of course I wanted them to be:
Happy, beautiful, brilliant, thrilling, loving, adventurous, caring, joyful, engaging, artistic, creative, alert, ambitious, amused, brave, calm, capable, charming, cheerful, comfortable,confident, courageous, credible, cultured, dashing, dazzling, decisive, delightful, determined, diligent, dynamic, eager, efficient, enchanting, encouraging, endurable, energetic, entertaining, enthusiastic, fabulous, fair, faithful, fearless, frank, friendly, funny, generous, gentle, good, harmonious, helpful, hilarious, honorable, instinctive, kind, knowledgeable, lively, lucky, nice, peaceful, pleasant, plucky, productive, protective, proud, quirky, receptive, reflective, resolute, responsible, romantic, righteous, selective, self assured, sensitive, silly, sincere, skillful, smiling, steadfast, talented, thoughtful, tough, trustworthy, unusual, upbeat, vivacious, warm, wise, witty, wonderful....

Then I realized all of this will be true if I have simply well not so simply,

Intrinsically motivated, ethical, resilient children.

This is all I can ask for with out putting my wants, needs, desires on them.  This is what I hope for. I want my kids to see what is right and bounce back from the wrongs.

This came with such clarity as the answer to what seemed like the hardest question I would ever ask of myself.  I ask myself daily if how I am handling any of life's situations big and small if I am giving my children the tools they need.  If I am doing it right always feeling like I am doing it wrong, until I see them and really see them. When I watch Beckett walk so proud as line leader to art, when Logan and Ava choose each other to work with but are so fiercely independent at the same time.

I am so blessed to be a witness to my children.

I am so proud of them, they are intrinsically motivated, ethical, and for sure resilient children.