Fail better

"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better."
Samuel Beckett

There are many moments as a mother that you know are so much deeper than they appear.

Logan has been skateboarding for over a year. He has never been the kid to just jump into something unless he is completely sure of himself. Sometimes he is never sure till he does it. That's the hard part.

Today I held my breath.

He said he was ready to drop in on the half pipe. He wanted me to be there. Wanted me sitting on the half pipe. He was not yet ready. He was so scared. He was so overwhelmed. He just started shaking. He didn't want any help. He wanted to accomplish this. He wanted to be brave.
His skate teacher and I sat and talked with him as he tried to go and stopped for over forty-five minutes. He kept saying that he was going to fail. In his mind he was going to die or break something. It was as if everything that was inside of him was flowing out of him in this moment.
We talked a lot.
We talked about what we are afraid of. We talked about everything we have been afraid of and then done. We talked about how a lot if things are new and scary right now. Aaron talked to him about all of the same. He kept talking about how he can't do it. He was too scared to even try. We talked about how you only fail if you never try.

They came to lock up the park. They waited and watched and then he finally took a deep breath and dropped in.

I cried.
I am proud.
He is so brave.

He is not brave for dropping in he is brave for how he lives each day. He is brave for trying again every time he falls. He is brave for putting himself out there over and over again.

We are brave.